Humility -- Coming to the End of Myself

Stepping into the Medicaid office, the atmosphere almost smothered me. I never thought I had to succumb to this level of help. I had seek help countless times before, from babysitting to moving, from learning Algebra to Zoology, I never hesitated to ask for a helping hand, at least not until now.

I heard a story about a “Godly” man who was stranded on the rooftop of his house because of a flood. His neighbors went by in their boat and told the man that there was still room in their boat to fit him in, but he rejected, telling his neighbors that God would send help to him. A while later, a rescue boat with Red Cross workers came by wanting to lend the man a hand. Again, he rejected claiming that God would send him help. Okay. You guess right, the guy was never rescued and he was eventually struck by lightening and died on top of his own roof. He did get his deliverance from God alright—lightening, an “Act of God” through nature.

Though I have strong faith in God, yet it is nothing like the foolishness the man in the story portrays. I know in my current storm, I need help by means that God provides, means like the neighbors and the Red Cross workers in the story of the foolish man. In my case, Medicaid was the mean that God provided (I will explain why and how I got Medicaid for my son in a future article, and why I am assured that God provided it at the right time).

I used to study about poverty issues in my graduate classes, but I never thought that I can come so close to be in this category. It was different when I read about poverty by authors like bell hooks or when I worked at some of the community centers where children affected by poverty spend their after school hours. When you are actually in poverty, the sentiments are no where compared to studying or reading about it. I got to taste a bit of it lately since my whole world has in a way been turned upside down over the last three months (Now I see that it was God working all things for GOOD. Another article).

Like the man on the roof top expecting God’s “divine” intervention, I did not sort out for help at first. Honestly, I have been so reluctant to get help from the government. First of all, to me government help is only for the “poor, and as mentioned above, I could never consider myself “poor.” Secondly, I admit that pride is a big factor in me asking for help. Eventually, it was God who “slapped” my face before I earnestly sorted help to pay for my little boy’s medical bills, and He provided it.

It has not been an easy lesson, but indeed a lesson I very much needed. Only with a helpless state of mind did I truly come to humility and relied solely upon the providence of God. I have read stories of many Godly people who did not come to true humility until they got to the end of themselves.

Joni Erikson Tada, the founder of Joni and Friends ministry who have helped countless families with special need children, came to the end of herself when she became paralyzed from a diving accident. But because of the accident, she seek out for God, and God has been using her disability to reveal His power, mercy and grace to millions others through her ministry. In her memoir, she wrote “I know I wouldn’t know You… I wouldn’t love and trust You.. were it not for … this wheelchair.” She was THANKING God for her disability. Imagine that.

Another great Christian of our time, Chuck Colson, a key figure from the scandal of Watergate during the Nixon’s era, remarked that one of the “paradoxes” in life is “out of defeat and suffering in life comes victory.” A brilliant yet self-righteous man, Colson was sent to jail for his involvement in the scandal. Admitting to his own fallible nature, he surrendered wholeheartedly to God during his imprisonment. Thus, out of his true humility came a ministry that has brought hope to millions of the forgotten and untouchable prisoners around the globe. Like Joni, Chuck Colson was also grateful for his misfortune—his incarceration.

The prime example of true humility, however, was never helpless or in need. His true humility was part of His divine nature. As the Son of God, Jesus condescended himself and became poor, all for our sake, so that we can become rich through his poverty (2 Corinthians 8:9). His utmost humility was brutally displayed through his excruciating death on the cross, but His victory was also shown through his resurrection three days later.

True humility brings out victory, as illustrated by Joni Erikson Tada, Chuck Colson, and preeminently through Jesus Christ. I do not know where God is leading me to through this humbling experience at the Medicaid office, but I am assured that victory will come out of it, though it may not be the victory as defined by the world.

I pray that you do not have to come to the end of yourself to obtain true humility. Come to Jesus today and receive true victory in life through His resurrection!

James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.

Original article posted on
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