Suffering and Senseless Badness

Our entire church community has been shocked by the senseless murder of a beloved missionary H.D. who had served fervently with his wife L.H in China. The murder didn't happen in China, but right here in the US where the couple was finding some respite and reconnection with their American supporters. They came to speak to us during the launching stage of their mission work several years ago. Listening and reading about their journey and testimonies these past few years was like watching a baby maturing into a teenager. Many of our members also got to know this couple intimately through serving with them these last two years on short-term mission trips right on their mission field. In China or here at home, our church has indeed connected with H.D. and L.H. profoundly, not just with our resources but with our hearts and souls. His death was so abrupt, so random, and so incomprehensible that many of us couldn't help but rushed to ask why. Searching for an answer is, as we already realize, utterly useless. There would never be an answer in the human realm that could satisfy. Just imagine the character of a book challenging the writer of the book about the reasons behind certain plots and storylines, it is illogical and unattainable.

Here are my struggles in the midst of such tragedy:  

The disruption of logic -- HD gave up his American citizenship to do His work in China, he should have been blessed instead of being murdered.

The incongruity of emotions  -- Sad and angry but yet our faith calls us to consider it all JOY in trials and remain hopeful. 

In my search of why, I was brought to mind another missionary -- Jim Elliot. It was well documented that he along with four other missionaries were murdered by those they were serving in Ecuador while working among the fiercest of the native tribe -- the Auca people. Jim Elliot's wife Elizabeth Elliot and wives of the other murdered missionaries took up their husbands' cause and went to live with the Auca people merely two years after their husbands' murder. The story ended with the child of one of the murdered missionaries befriending his father's murderer, and the duo went on to spread many messages of hope and forgiveness to others. The ministry of Elizabeth Elliot also bore much fruit with many brutal and fierce tribal members converted to Christianity, and a vibrant and long-lasting ministry to the native tribes in Ecuador. 

The story of the Elliot's seems to have fulfilled the premise of Romans 8:28 that God works ALL things together for good. At the present moment, I am incapable of fitting Romans 8:28 with H.D's life. H.D was not in the mission field when he was murdered, and H.D's murder had nothing to do with evangelism but a purely random act of malice. He left four children and a faithful wife behind.

I attended HD's memorial service over the weekend. Many tears were shed but also spurts of laughter were heard as HD's brothers, friends, and coworkers shared their memorable and sometimes hilarious moments about HD. Through the testimonies, many were convinced that HD's urgency and overly zealous approach for his ministry may have a divine reason behind it -- The brevity of his earthly life. Nonetheless, there was still no answer to figure out such an awful murder that left behind a widow and four innocent kids, and a far-reaching ministry.

I remember reading a story about a wise mom telling her daughter who asked about a horrible disaster that killed many people. The daughter asked, "Where is God in this mess?" The wise mother responded, "focus on those who come to the aid of others and you will see God." Amidst of all the senseless badness that came with the murder, there was so much "good" in the form of kindness, compassion and unity. Our whole church pulled together to host the memorial service in less than 1.5 weeks, the donation raised from Go Fund Me for the family was doubled the goal by the Christian community, and there were also countless other unseen and seen caring acts done by their circle of connections.

Being no stranger to trials and challenges especially for this summer, I am reading the book by Tim Keller, Walking with God through Suffering. It talks about how the suffering God and the sovereign God are the same God. An all-knowing God allowed suffering to happen to Himself. He walked the tight rope Himself.

Lord, help me look for the good in the bad, and to remember that the ultimate answer of suffering rests with you, as you are the all wise, all knowing, and all powerful God who had gone through the utmost suffering for us!